Pork Fruit Cake

I looked for a picture for this, especially since I am NOT going to make it. EVER. I came up short, so I drew a picture of a pig. Cute, huh? I thought so, too.

Let's not have the pig stare at you for nothing. Moving on.

Pork Fruit Cake

1 1/4 lb. fresh ground pork
2 boxes raisins
4 c. nuts
1 Tbsp. allspice
1 Tbsp. cloves
1 Tbsp. cinnamon
2 lb. sugar
6 eggs
5 c. flour (use 1/2 c. over nuts and raisins)
2 tsp. soda
1 pt. wine

Mix flour, soda and spices. Cream pork and sugar; add eggs, one at a time. Add wine, flour alternately. Add floured nuts and raisins; mix well. Line bottom of pan with greased brown paper. Bake at 250 degrees F for 1 1/2 hours or until done. Remove paper when done.

Mrs. Ed. H. Lindley, Brimingham South Council, Calling All Cooks, pg 129

Why waste good wine?

Here is what I can imagine it looks like. I drew this, too. Call me Michelangelo.

Mayonnaise Cake

For starters, let me say that I'm all about substituting and making changes to recipes and personally, I do it often. When we eat something that makes the hubs and I go "Meh..." he says, "You used a recipe, huh?" I always answer with a depressing, "Yep."

That said, there are certain things that don't go together. I understand fully that cakes need moisture. I get that, really. I understand that when heat is applied to mayonnaise, it basically melts and becomes gooey oily.. stuff. It is oil, eggs, and lemon juice whisked together, after all. What I don't understand is how mayonnaise ended up in a cake. I'll give the creator of the mayo cake credit for ingenuity, but the credit stops there. I mean, you don't see kids running around saying they want a chocolate and mayonnaise sandwich. Blech. In my oh-so-set mind, this is akin to a banana and chicken smoothie. Choke on that one.

Uh oh...

Here, baby, let me clean that up. No.. no.. it's ok. Whoops. Looks like it's in your shoelaces. Take 'em on out and I'll soak 'em in the sink.

Now, let Mama tell you a scary story about a cake. With mayonnaise in it. Can you please stop crying so the others can hear?

3 c. unsifted flour
1 1/2 c. sugar
1/3 c. cocoa
2 1/4 tsp. baking soda
1 1/2 c. mayonnaise
1 1/2 c. water
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla

Sift together dry ingredients. Stir in mayonnaise. Gradually stir in water and vanilla until smooth and well blended. Pour into prepared pans (two 9 inch layers or one 9x13 inch pan). Bake at 350F about 30 minutes or until cake springs back when touched. Frost with chocolate icing or with cream cheese icing.

Nancy Morgan, Decatur Council, pg 139 Calling All Cooks

So, in case you are wondering, no, I have never had a mayonnaise cake. I have, however, read lots and lots of reviews about them. Pretty much what turned me off with this, other than the fact that it has MAYONNAISE in it, is that reviewers say that it lacks flavor and the cake is very dense. No, thanks. I'll pass.